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Alain left slowly, since he was also crying. Hiding his tears, he turned around to leave when Oscar suddenly began to cough. Oscar
felt weak against these inner pain, that was weakening her body
gradually and seemed to tear her from the inside every time. Worried,
Alain returned to her again just to see her fall down the steps. He
screamed her name and fastened his steps to help her sit upright.
Perplexed and confused to see her in that state, he soon recognized the
former white handkerchief she still held in her hands. Oscar noticed his gaze and tried to hide the piece of cloth, but he had already seen the blood on it.
Alain was
shocked first, but then an artificial grimace appeared on his face.
ALAIN
No, you were right. You won’t be able to lead us tomorrow morning.
You’ll be sent to a doctor as soon as possible. This is serious…
Oscar thought about resisting, but gave up soon
as she didn’t have any choice.
Oscar was brought to the small apartment of Rosalie
and Bernard, where she should stay
until the hardest battles would be over. The fall of the Bastille the same day
was a great triumph, but Oscar felt she wasn’t part of it anymore.
Now Oscar had left and betrayed her family, she couldn’t
go back to Mansion Jarjeyes again. Not only had she lost all her property, but
also Andre, who was her husband, her
support and second self. The first days were hard and several times Oscar realized that her mind still couldn’t accept Andre’s absence. They’ve been together as long as she
could think back and she couldn’t believe she would never see his smile ever
again.
Oscar tried to be useful in the house to detract herself from these thoughts
and spent several joyful hours with Rosalie,
who taught her hard on cooking and sewing.
She was
thankful for Bernard’s and Rosalie’s help and care. The tuberculosis became
better soon as Rosalie forced her to
stay in bed and eat regularly, but Oscar
knew that she also caused a lot of trouble. After a month of living close with
each other, she knew she should leave as soon as possible.
It wasn’t
until August 26th of 1789 that a chance to leave was offered. Bernard had been out whole night and came back in the
morning to excitedly announce that the “Declaration of Rights of Man and
Citizen” had been adopted by the National Assembly.
Alain
visited them the same day and said he wanted to leave Paris and move near
the coast where his sister and mother were buried. He said he had always wanted
to become a farmer. He had bought a small piece of land from a poor farmer and
spent his last money on a carriage.
Oscar sat silent while he was telling them, but inside she had the feeling
that it must’ve been a sign. She had waited for an opportunity to leave and now
Alain came here to declare he was leaving to become a farmer somewhere far away
from here on the countryside…
If Andre had survived, they would have settled somewhere
on the countryside, too. At least Oscar
had always dreamed of this harmonic way of life, a life far away from social
duties and class differences. Maybe it was a sign that this day was also Andre’s birthday.
When Alain
was about to leave, Oscar rose from
her chair in a sudden and quick move.
OSCAR Alain, if you don’t mind I’d
like to come with you.
Everyone
was looked at her in great surprise.
OSCAR Please… I’m sure I’ll become
better when I’m out in the coastal air. The weather in Paris doesn’t
help me a lot and the city is also dangerous for me. You know I was a noble.
What if people find out that the famous writer and journalist Bernard Chatelet
harbours such people? Also you’ve done more than enough. I can’t demand any
more help from you both…
Oscar’s decidedness surprised them, but then Alain had to admit that somehow
he was relieved to have some company when he left the big city. Also Bernard and Rosalie
couldn’t answer back. Oscar was right;
if Robespierre and his people had the way, they
would’ve executed all the former aristocrats. It was dangerous for her to stay.
They left Paris
late in the afternoon and the first time since Andre’s
death, Oscar felt an inwardly hope in
her, that she might have a future in this world.
It wasn’t
easy to get used to their circumstances and everyday challenges for both of
them, but somehow they always managed the crisis. The next city was some miles
farter away and they hardly got the news about what was going on in Paris and other parts of France,
but Oscar never complained. She was
getting healthier every day and soon she thought the tuberculosis to be cured. She
was happy to lead a life that she had always wanted with Andre,
but never got the opportunity. She hadn’t given up the thought that she would
meet him again sometime and until he didn’t take her with him, she would do the
best she could to live a worthy life.
To other
people Oscar and Alain might have seemed like a couple when they visited the
town to sell the vegetables and milk, but they just laughed at it when people
did such comments. Alain knew there was no space left for any other man in Oscar Grandier’s
heart but Andre. Of course she was
still suffering that he wasn’t by her side anymore…
The days
had become shorter and it had become colder when the assurance of pregnancy
couldn’t be denied anymore. When Oscar
felt the first signs of an awakening life in her, she knew her life would
change totally. Instead of living in the present and just let the things
happen, she thought about the future more and more often. Andre
had never left her; the bond of their love had never been broken. She had been
wearing their baby below her heart since that magical night in the forest. And
that gave her strength to go on.
Alain fell
in love with the widow of the neighbour farm in spring. She was managing the
fields all by her own and the help of her children since her husband had died
because of a serious influenza. Oscar
knew it was again time to leave, but now she didn’t worry about her future. By
then they had earned some money that could ensure her a new and a more
turbulent life on her own.
On March 20th
of 1790, exactly eight months and one week after their union, Oscar gave birth to a boy. When he was laid in her
arm, Oscar began to cry, her body still weak and all trembling. Andre had made her a woman, as perfect as one could
be. All the pain she had to bear during the last months was washed away by the
look of these bright green eyes. All her hope laid mirrored in this small,
screaming bundle of life. She held him close to her, kissed his tiny little
hands and whispered in his ear:
OSCAR I love you.
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