Oscar was walking through the cold, gray stone walls of barracks, as a white rose shining in the darkness. Her gender was a bigger problem here, but they would get used to. The only thing she was wondering was Andre. Sometimes she was feeling unfriendly glazes towards him. While thinking about it, she saw a few men running to the rooms. They were talking about a fight, she heard a few words; newcomer, one eyed… Andre? When she had figured out the place of fight, it was over. In the dark storage room, everyone had left, Andre was lying unconsciously and Alain was standing there.
This was not the first time she had been helpless about Andre. When his eye was injured, twice, she had nothing to do, she couldn’t even move. Not being able to help him was hurting her. Again, he was lying, she was frozen. Before her step to him, she realized the tears falling to the floor from Andre’s eyes. If it was not deadly silent room, she could not be able to hear his murmurings. But even a breath could be heard there.
ANDRE Don’t Oscar… Don’t get married.
Who on this world could understand Andre’s feelings? Light will never be apart from the shadow. They follow each other. Their difference is just a part of their union. Oscar was the light. Losing her was more than losing the sight but losing the hope. If you don’t have the hope…
Absolute silence… Shocked Alain looked at Andre first and then turned his head to the Oscar. He did not have a clue before. Andre had a problem, probably about love. Then he attended Company B. Now, it was so clear. Alain was the only human being who knew their secret. As usual Alain, he took it funny, asked “What do you see in this manly woman?”. It was not humiliating but sarcastic. Oscar had nothing to say.
ALAIN Hey, Miss Commander. YOU take care of him. This guy is even willing to give up his life for you!
Oscar’s mind was empty until he went out of room and left fainted Andre with a frozen Oscar.
At last Oscar was leaving barracks behind, turning back Mansion for a little peace. After all, she could not avoid feeling guilty for Andre. And she was persuading herself that it was nothing else. The tremble in her, was telling her she should be aware of his feelings before. She was so busy with thinking about him so she forgot to look into her heart.
Reddish clouds were moving with the wind. In front of the barracks, she recognized Gerodere. He wanted to escort her. She knew that it was the moment for learning what he was feeling. Wind mills were turning with noises.
GERODERE I realized after you left the Royal Guards that I was searching for your
cool voice and smile, and following your serene eyes. Then I couldn't restrain myself and I told your father that I wanted you. I love you, with all my heart. Ah, I curse myself that I can only say such mediocre words! Please, say something to me.
Oscar didn’t even make her head up. She could not take her mind from Andre. It was not the noise of mills but their squeezed heart in this confusing world. She was respecting his feelings but Andre… “What do you want to hear Gerodere?”
She remained silent. Gerodere felt he could not express himself. He wanted to be near Oscar, in any ways…
GERODERE If I wasn't born into the nobility, which is nothing but a drag, I would become your servant or stableman!
Oscar made her head up, stared at him.
OSCAR Since we're nobles, neither of us have the right to talk about servants!
Oscar’s reply did not make any sense for Gerodere. He followed her with his eyes until she disappeared.
General Jarjayes was insistent about sending her to the ball, with a dress. “Daughter of Jarjayes family”… She was a daughter of Jarjayes family who did not need to wear dress but it would take some while for her father to realize this.
Oscar was in her office when she heard that assassin shot her father. He hadn’t missed any of his targets. Oscar did not think of anything except seeing her father. When she entered to room, “He's fine, Mademoiselle. The bullet miraculously missed his heart.” said Nanny. She lost the tension on her muscles, found herself sat on the floor. Tears were pouring. Her father was alive. She saw the white handkerchief, raised her head. Andre was looking and smiling her while handing it. She took it and said “Thank you Andre”. Her spirit was thanking him for more, “Thank you for being on my side, thank you for not leaving me alone, thank you for being yourself, thank you…”.
Near the her father’s bed, she was thinking of catching the killer. But her father had other plans and she could not reject him this time. Unluckily, Andre was there. He heard their talk, tried not to show any reaction. He was lucky that hearts are not made of glass; nobody can hear when they are broken. General wanted Andre to escort Oscar to the ball. Oscar turned to Andre, looked for what he felt, she could only see the darkness on his face, or was it from her eyes. The voices of their emotions were so high, how couldn’t her father hear them.
On the day of ball, Andre was on time. He had come to take her, but Oscar did not have hurry. She opened the door, leaving Andre behind; “Andre, I won’t marry that easily”. It was her way of telling, she would not hurt him anymore.
Obviously, curiosity was the main feeling in that ballroom. Most of the men there had never thought of Oscar as a woman and this was the most amazing event of the year. All elegant, nice looking guys were waiting for her.
She appeared in the frame of the door with her uniform. Everybody stopped talking. She hadn’t worn a dress. She was discarding all those gazes as an icy flower. She smiled and said: “What a strange ball. Not a single lady is attending”. Her smile was her rebellion against the tragic events surrounding her. She had stuck to her space, her will, and her values. She would not be lost, would not be desperate. She left the ball. After those events, at last she had found herself.
On the night shift, Alain and Andre were together. It was late night, both of them were sleepy. Alain had something to say.
ALAIN Hey, Andre, don't get involved with that woman. She's quite capable at taking commands of the company. But, it looks like she's trying to get away from something.
Andre was surprised by the exactly true analysis of Alain. He was listening quietly:
ALAIN So, she can't take things easy. It's fatal to fall in love with such a woman. A man gets embroiled and won't have enough lives to spare.
Andre had only one life... Alain threw a bottle to Andre, but his sight was so bad, he could not catch it. Alain was also aware of his eye.
ALAIN You don't care about your life for that woman? Don't become reckless just because you might turn blind! It's pretty serious, isn't it? Well, we all live together. So I can tell. Does that woman know about your eyes?
ANDRE
No... Alain, don't tell anyone... please!
Alain stared one left eye of Andre, tried to see what he was feeling. Andre was always so still, he wasn’t telling anything. He had an impossible love; it was impossible not only because of the class differences but also due to the way she had been living. She was not a woman to marry.
ALAIN Are you going to stay in silence forever? Are you going to wait for her death or marriage and have remorse forever?
ANDRE Alain, please don’t tell anyone…
ANDRE Do you really want to hear what i know?